To a certain extent your son’s safety depends on his peer group. You might want to ring the other parents and talk to them in person to explain this. It is understandable that your son is nervous about telling in case he is identified as the “person who told”, so it is a delicate conversation to get right. Would you want to know if your 12 year old was showing porn to other children on his phone? They may not know this is happening and if they find out they can take steps to better supervise or restrict their child’s access, and talk through all the safety issues. I would think it is important to tell the other parents. But even then it is hard to protect your children from coming across material from the unsupervised access of their peers.
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You did well to delay smartphone use and to install safety software on other devices in order to supervise his access. Your email highlights how, even when parents take steps to protect their children, they can never fully supervise.
As children start puberty they may be very drawn to and excited by watching such material, yet they do not have the maturity to critically evaluate what they are watching. This is, indeed, a tragedy as witnessing such material at young ages can interfere with their normal sex education and development. In surveys many children report coming across this material before their 12th birthday.
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